Anastasia

De departe, e cel mai inteligent copil al meu, la varsta de 3 ani :). Si cea mai iubareata, toata ziua am sta sa ne pupam, sa ne ciugulim, sa ne gadilam.. Doamne, atata iubire ne-ai dat cu copilasul acesta!! 

Acum cateva luni am intrebat-o enervata de ce se scoala plangand tot timpul, asa, cu ura, sa ne racaie nervii de dimineata. I-am spus ca ma doare capul, si sa astepte si ea in patut pana ma scol si eu. Dupa doua zile, s-a trezit si nu a mai plans, se tot foia in pat si mai ridica cate un cap-ridiche-cheala sa vada ce fac. Cand am luat-o din pat mi-a spus:

- Vezi, bebe nu pânge, bebe maare!

Si asta la 2 ani jumate!

Azi il vede pe Nicu ca e putin bolnav, isi tot sufla nasul, si il intreaba:

-Tati sick? Doare nasu’? Lasa ca vine mami acum!

Haha, de parca eu rezolvam totul, dintr-o miscare a nasului...

Partea mai putin funny e ca e fooarte bossy, pana si Codrin a facut-o feminista LOL, la trei ani vrea sa le faca ea pe toate, ii da ordine si lui Codrin.

In alta zi, ma vede ca-l tund pe Nicu In baie si il intreaba galeș:

-Mami te face princess?

Lol.

Si nu zice “facut” ci “cufut”

Bonjour de Bangor

Wow, a fost o pauza lunga asta , poate cea mai lunga de pana acum. E mort blogul meu, sau nu? Poate ca da, nu stiu inca ce sa fac cu el. Mai simt uneori nevoia de a scrie.

Noutati sunt multe, nu stiu cu care sa incep. Nu-mi vine sa cred inca, ce intorsatura au luat lucrurile de cand am ajuns aici.

Cei doi ani petrecuti in Romania au fost ca o zbatere pe uscat, atat de multe lucruri m-au intors pe dos, ca nici nu are rost sa stau sa le descurc. Inca sunt la faza cand incerc sa inteleg care a fost cauza atator rateuri, ... nu am ajuns asa de adanc.. Ne-am dus pentru doi ani si am sperat ca ma pot reconecta la spiritul de dinainte, dar se pare ca lumea evolueaza si eu stau pe loc, in trecut. Am fost foarte dezamagita ca nu am gasit o biserica unde sa ma pot simti bine. Nu am gasit un preot care sa imi faca inima sa salte de bucurie, numai griuri peste tot, tristete, neimpliniri, limite puse prea sus pentru saracul om... unde e iubirea? Am ajus sa fiu sensibila la lipsa iubirii, a caldurii omenesti, a blandetii. Nu mai pot sa traiesc intr-un mediu rigid, oare asta sa fie un semn al batranetii?

Al doilea lucru pentru care am vrut sa stam in Romania a fost sa ne lipim cumva de parintii nostrii, sa ii cautam pe bunici, strabunici. Daca am reusit cumva sa ne intalnim cu unchi, matusi, veri, atat din partea mea, cat si a lui Nicu si am gasit mormantul bunicii mele plecate foarte timpuriu din lumea asta, la 33 de ani, istoria cu parintii mei a fost una foarte amara. In primul an aproape zilnic ma certam cu mama, copiii au fost revoltati de insistentele ei de a se baga in viata lor, in actiunile pe care le faceam, a fost un timp cand chiar m-am gandit sa ma intorc in America, numai din cauza ei. Nu stiu cum o persoana asa de inteligenta, sa nu aiba finete si discernamant in relatiile ei cu niste copii. Nu a reusit decat sa ii sperie si sa-i indeparteze prin tot ce facea. Pe de o parte sunt trista pentru ea, pe de alta ma bucur ca teoriile ei nu au prins la copii. Inca ma balansez pe marginea galetii si nu am idee cum sa-mi gasesc echilibrul in ce priveste mama. Am facut eforturi, am incercat sa inabus energia negativa, sa imi reamintesc cum era cand o iubeam ca pe ochii din cap, cand numai gandul ca putea sa i se intample ceva si ma inecam in plans si groaza. Eram mica, dar atat de mult am iubit-o... Ce s-a intamplat cu ea? De ce s-a schimbat? Sau poate eu m-am schimbat, si n-am mai fost fetita mica si ascultatoare, care ii sorbea cuvintele ?

Al treilea lucru au fost prietenii. Ma asteptam sa nu fie totul roz, sa existe neintelegeri. Si asa a fost. Mi-am dat seama ca oamenii isi continuea viata, pe cararile alese de ei, si foarte rar ne mai intalnim in aceste alegeri pe care le facem. Uneori judecam prea mult, si nu mai gasim acea armonie care era pe vremuri. That’s sad. Inteleg aceasta evolutie(?), dar ma si intristeaza. Nu am ramas aproape cu nimeni in contact. Zero. Nu stiu de ce, poate isi facusera oamenii o alta parere despre mine si i-am dezamagit...? Nu e vina mea, stiu. Sunt ca o carte deschisa pentru toti, nu ascund nimic. Am tristeti si ma bucur, in dulapul meu e un singur schelet, si ala aproape putrezit, nu are rost sa-l mai sterg de praf.

Si un ultim lucur care m-a dezamagit, a fost homeschoolingul. Foarte slaba miscarea, nimic care sa ne retina interesul. Mult mix intre HS si scoala acasa, noi eram mai relaxati, nu stateam cu cartile si orarul in brate. Perceptia generala a HS ne-a creat probleme, si pentru asta au mai cazut cateva prietenii.

Apoi ne-am intors in US.

Onesti

Cred ca cel mai mult in Onesti ma infioara un mic sentiment de déja-vu, care apare cateodata cand vad toamna plina de frunze galbene, scoala in distanta, de dupa copacii inalti a lui Nectarie, sau frânghiile de rufe asezate in spatele blocurilor cu 4 etaje, sau mirosul de vinete coapte, sarmale si alte tomnatice mancaruri care razbate uneori prin toata incremenirea de aici. E un orasel linistit, si numai el intreg imi aduce inapoi, cu toata forta, copilaria mea de pana la liceu. 

Unele cladiri au ramas neatinse de duhul lumesc de dupa revolutie, parca sunt inca incarcate, cocoșate de anii comunismului -astea ma infioara si imi da niste senzatii amestecate, de groaza, placere, disperare - e ceva ce nu pot controla. 

Parca am nimerit intr-un film vechi, ne uitam si eu, si Nicu, la oameni, pana si stilul celor trecuti de o anumita varsta e neschimbat, pantaloni cu talie inalta, tricouri de polistiren, imbibate bineinteles cu miros de transpiratie, toate femeile poarta vara palariute de soare si au o anumita obsesie in a-si aranja parul cat mai bine, vizita la coafor e un must. Poate toate aceste senzatii imi sunt intarite si de matusa mea, o doamna miniona de 70 de ani, care pare arhetipul batranilor din acest mic orasel. Maruntica si iute, cu parul rar, dar coafat si vopsit intr-o vagă undă roscatie, vine uneori pe la noi sa ne faca mancare. Dupa o viata de munca, 4 copii si un divort urat, singura consolare pe care o mai are e sa mearga in vizita pe la rude, chemata ba de unul, ba de altul, gatind oale de sarmale, ciorbe, fripturi, checuri, dulceturi, compoturi, facand orice care sa ii umple timpul, departe de singuratatea garsonierei ei saracacioase. Un studiu de caz viata ei, bun de dezbatut cu copiii. Trist, dar cu o oarecare rezolutie luminoasa spre sfarsit.

Nu ne-am asteptat sa ne placa aici, ne gandeam ca o sa fie o escala, in drumul spre Poiana Sarata, insa se pare ca pe Nicu il ajuta mai mult sa se re- adapteze lumii acesteia noi. Si pe Olguta nu o mai inspaimanta oamenii si traficul, iar ceilalti sunt ok, unde ne-om nimeri, numai impreuna sa fim.

Un an de Anastasia

Am facut o pizza ieri si niste placinta cu dovleac, mi-era dor de miros de copt in casa, n-am mai facut de mult nimic la cuptor. Am stat cu cei mici si am adulmecat aromele care se amesteca, ne-am uitat la lumina galbuie din cuptor si ne-am imbratisat pe ascuns.

Why Romanians are weird, by Stefan B

Slyness:

Romanian people have a tendency to laud slyness, slyness either personally or for the amusement of others, the character of the typical Romanian is either too rude and needlessly aggressive or aggravatingly sly. An example would be: confusing a person purposefully, in front of a crowd, so to appear entertaining and get a better rapport with the masses, therefore climbing the social ladder.

Personal slyness is when people are dishonest, this is a completely contrary to what Europeans are supposed to be, in other words, this particular virtue is from, and for the nonwhite races. The best way to combat this disgusting character is to be BRUTALLY honest, to speak your mind completely, there is no shame in talking about your ideas, and it usually leads to discourse that expands your mental capacity and comprehension of the subject.

Anti-Homeschoolers:

An underlying obsession, prevalent in everyone, a close-mindedness that reveals that their whole 

school education was fruitless, concerning the act of being able to learn for yourself and come to different conclusions than the ones that were injected into your burgeoning brain from an early age.

Because apparently, unless you were sent to a free public school and pumped with useless information, you aren't up to par when it comes to intelligence, doesn't matter that you can play 12 instruments. YOU STILL NEVER LEARNED ABOUT BAUXITE!

Degree Obsession:

Let me tell you a story, it's quite extreme:

A friend of my dad is a gypsie, so naturally, he has no education, not even what they call a baccalaureate (which is a sort of SAT in Europe), he then went to apply for a job that consists of just carrying heavy bags.. seriously. They didn't accept him because he had no education, and everyone knows that having a college degree is crucial to being able to carry bags. They even asked him if he had AT LEAST a baccalaureate! I think this is pretty radical, and it exposes the deeply rooted mindset that most people have here, if you don't have a degree, it'll lead to general discrimination against you, for the most stupid reason. 

Anti-Primordial-Beast:

A lot of people in the middle class and higher, look down upon activities that boys and men need to participate in for optimal growth. An example would be lifting weights, my grandma and most people in general think of lifting weights as something brutish and lowly, she even once gave me an apropos, she made the claim that a personal trainer and avid gym goer (named Elvis) is stupid, she then proceeded to generalize that claim into a logical argument, namely that, going to the gym abates your intellectual advancement and thus should be avoided. 

And as I stated before, there is nothing wrong with wanting to do beast and manly things, it's actually important to do physical activities, especially as a man. Going to the gym and exercising has actually been shown to increase your mental clarity and capacity for learning. 

So keep following the way of the Romans: Mens sana in corpore sano!

Saints

Februarie e luna lui Codrin la citirea acatistului. Asa ca aseara, chiar inainte sa adorm, Codrin se napusteste in camera si-mi suiera barbatos la ureche:
- Mami, which one of the Saints is Beast?
Am inteles ce vrea, numai ca mi s-a parut amuzanta asocierea cuvantului “beast” cu viata sfintilor, ca radeam in somn.
A ramas ca face Acatistul Sf. Gheorghe.

Back in time

Cu o compozitie de-a lui Codrin. De fapt, tot el a ales si poza.

https://youtu.be/cMAhVjyRFQ4

Babies

E greu fara tati acasa, dar copiii fac un job minunat. Olguta ma ajuta cu bebe, e un breeze sa ai un ajutor plin de dragoste in casa. Pot sa plec de acasa, cand il iau pe Nectarie de la scoala, si sa nu ma doara inima, caci stiu ca Olga o pupa de-o albeste si e foarte sigura de ea cand o las singura (mama se teme sa ramana singura cu Anastasia acasa, si in plus, a zis ca ea nu e bona la copii.. hîc), dimineata cand sunt sleita dupa o noapte alba, Olgu vine si mi-o ia si ma lasa sa dorm..
 Ah, abia la la al cincilea copil am si eu ajutor, si ce bine e!
Asta seara dupa ce i-am facut baie, m-am pus in pat sa o alaptez si citeam in acelasi timp cartea lui Helen Moon. Zicea de cauzele scaderii productiei de lapte la mamici:
- mama nu mananca destul - checked
- mama e mereu obosita - checked
- mama e stresata - checked
- mama nu bea destule lichide - checked.
So, ii dau si formula. Si vreau sa o bag si pe un program fix de masa si somn, asta ca sa incerc de toate, nu?
Anyway, nu mai pot sta cu ea 100%, sa o alaptez la cerere, sa ma scol noaptea din ora in ora. Trebuie sa am grija si de ceilalti, asa ca un program cu bebe nu face decat sa ma ajute sa smooth things out.
Ah, si tocmai a venit Codrin sa vada ce fac. I-am spus ca mi-e foame si sete si nu pot sa ma misc din pat, prizoniera un gurite somnoroase. A sarit repede sa imi aduca ceva de mancare.
"Ce vrei sa iti aduc?"
"Incalzeste-mi compotul de pe aragaz si adu-mi niste placinta cu mere (pe care tocmai o scosesem din cuptor)"
"Nu mai e."
"Esti sigur? Acum cateva minute era intreaga, aia rotunda.." zic eu neincrezatoare
"Da, aia, nu mai e"
(Stiu ca mananca ca spartul cand da de ceva bun.. plus ca ii era si foame dupa excursia cu cetasii)
"Ok, zic, atunci altceva.."
"Iti fac niste paine prajita cu zacusca, e bine?"
"E foarte bine!"
Si nu-mi vine s acred, a venit peste 10 min cu farfuria si cana de compot.
I love my kids!

Funny little story- Olga

It's good to have grandparents close, they say...


TRIGGERED TO THE MAX!

I kind of hesitated writing this e-mail, but I'll explain why soon! 

So, RIGHT after you left, grandma hurriedly called me over, and said, 'Please, can you wash the dishes? I'm too tired.'

and I said, 'Of course, Grandma.'

However, before I could even take a stride to the sink, she stopped me to tell me stories. At first, it was the boring usual, stuff like. 'Want to know what a good deal I got once? I paid only 200 lei for these pots that were worth 300! It was amazing...'

So I was polite and smiled and nodded blah blah. 

Then, it evolved into something worse... she just started telling me how the thieves stole our stuff from Poiana Sarata, and how much work she did. I was polite still.

Then, she began telling me about Liviu, her sister, and a lot of other people, before it eventually reached her brother (I don't know it was some weird name like Tiki). 

She was telling me how he did very bad living a super religious way, and she told me that you and mami were doing the same, forcing us to live something we didn't want, not letting us see things, enjoy things blah blah. 

She said, quote, 'They think life is all serious and about prayers and church... but no,' head shake. 'it's about being free and living fun, and looking at movies and going to places...' 

'You see, where even is your tv? why don't you have even that??? It's so wonderful, it tells you about so many amazing things.." 

I was like, 'Grandma, can you not see we have those laptops and phones?? We can search anything we want..'

but she shook her head and was like, 'no... no thats not it.'

I honestly forgot some of the things she said, but here are the main things she was pestering me about. 

1. How parents aren't always right (especially yours), and how I'll somehow WAKE UP AND REALIZE EVERYTHING, MY WHOLE LIFE, WAS WRONG!! BECAUSE I LISTENED TO MY PARENTS WOw.

2. Post and church isn't good. post is bad, 'cause she says so, and she gave me a few examples of people she met that didn't fast. MOST of them were because they had some medical problem. She said, 'How does fasting make you a better christian?? It's a prostie.' Too much church isn't good either apparently!1!1. It's also a waste of time to her. And then she started roasting Bunicu, and said, 'What good did going to church bring him? Nothing if you ask me... I always try to keep him to stay at home... but sometimes he just doesn't listen...'

3. One out of ten of families are christian, while the rest are 'normal' (in her words). She says it was such a horrible thing you guys did, by making us meet only christian people and befriending only them!1! Your parents should've made you become friends with normal people! the none christians cus they're the only sane people!! 

4. She began ranting about how she is so sad that I don't have friends and that I only stay at home. I said. 'Okay, grandma, but in america I always went out, and had plenty of friends and activities. Here there isn't much, or I've already seen these things (like shops and other random garbage).' She shook her head and said, 'Ahh. if I were you, I'd ask to come to grandma's house for three days. Then I'd go and hang out with Lidia or some friends and go to shops or a cofetarie and hang out! or watch tv and be trending!'

The last thing that MADE ME SO MAD was that she said. 'For now, I know you won't change but, maybe when you grow older, you're gonna realize what a life you've been living. not going to places, not meeting people, no tv... it's sad when I speak of you of these wonderful things. Listen, when you finally wake up and realize everything, I just want you to remember that I was the one who helped you free yourself from your misery. Please, remember it and try and help your siblings too! Let all my words sink in your head, and think about them hard!! I know you'll come to your senses soon.'

THE REASONS that this made me mad was

a) she came to ME because she thinks I'M WEAK! I'm in the 'vulnerable' teenage state right now, where my brain is the softest and most gullible, and she tried to BRAINWASH me so hard!!. She probably tried to change Codrin too, but realized he was hopeless because he was so disrespectful. At least I'm nicer, so she came after me like a HAWK! 

b) ok now here is the OUTRAGEOUS part! After this, I was silent, scowling at the floor because I had yet to wash the dishes. However, I wasn't budging an inch, because I didn't want to get near Bunica. Then she comes and says, 'Are you upset?" 

Lol, yes! 

But I kept silent, and just stared out the window, my lips pursed. 

And then she hugs me and kisses me (ew), laughs and steps away. Then she turns again and says, softly. "You know, you don't have to tell your dad or mom all of this." I look at her. She shrugs. "I feel like you should make a room in your brain and put these words in them and not tell them! Just let them cook in your brain..." 

And I kept silent more. 

"You're not gonna tell them, are you?"

"I can't say anything right now." I said, because idk, I was mad. 

But I knew I was gonna say anyway. 

She was silent also after that, but came after me once in a while, telling me not to tell you. Then she said it might make you guys sad, and that's why I hesitated, but I thought it must be for the best. 

And then the garage opened, and she hurried to me and said. "Why don't you just tell them that I was telling you a story about Liviu and Poiana sarata? Then you wouldn't lie and nobody would get hurt."

Ughhhhhhhh.

I was confuzzled (confused + puzzled) on what to do.  but decided on sending an e-mail anyhow. 

So yeah.

 I didn't say everything, mostly because I don't remember!1 but yeah it was horrible. And I was triggered because nobody came to save me!! 

well anyway. bye!

Also... if you don't confront her about this it would be kinda easier for me,... if u do talk to her, she'll hate me forever. soooo

Pica

Pica

Dupa o luna care a trecut fooarte greu, si in care in momentele de angoasa, Nectarie incepea plansul ca nu mai are niciun "friend", pentru ca iubita lui pica a ramas in San 

Diego, ieri, de ziua lui, a venit instiintarea de la posta externa pentru un colet. Nu i-am spus, ca sa ne crutam pe noi de pisari repetate la cap, si azi am fost in Calea

Vacaresti sa o iau. Nicu o pusese de la inceputul lui Aprilie in pachet, si pentru ca ramasese singur in casa pustie, il apucase dorul de noi, asa ca nu a vrut sa arunce nimic din lucrurile care mai ramasesera si pe care eu le sortasem pentru GoodWill. A umplut masina cu tot garbage-ul si acum se plimba cu ea, back and forth, de la servici, la camera inchiriata din casa chinezilor... :)

In pachet a pus paturica si ce a mai gasit prin camera baietilor, adica niste chilotei de-ai lui Nectarie care au fost deliciul momentului in care vamesii de la posta l-au deschis. Treaba lor, asta e rasplata pentru terfelirea decentei la care ne supun cand cauta prin lucrurile noastre personale.

Mi-a deschis poarta si cand a vazut cadoul nu mai putea de fericire, s-a invelit cu ea si spunea tuturor vestea, pana si Fragai i- a impartasit noutatea, dar vezi sa nu o intereseze pe catea.

S-a plimbat prin toate paturile cu degetul in gura si pica in cap, i-a aratat-o lui bunica si cand a vazut florile de pe masa primite ieri, a luat doua din ele si mi- a spus ca vrea sa-i dea flori picãi :))). Le-a infasurat in paturica si s-a plimbat cu ele prin casa. 

Piscu

Martie

• I want him to be named Stuie!

Ce nume e asta? Ok, sa-ti numesti copilul tau asa.. 

• Yeah, Bebe, don't you hear, mami is going to name him , not you.

Olga il sacaie pe Nectarie si incep amandoi o discutie contradictorie.

PNa la urma nici nu stiu ce rost au discutiile astea, poate doar de ascutire a spiritului critic, cand de fapt nici nu stiu ce o sa fie. Pare atat de indepartat totul, mai am atatea de facut pana atunci, incat problema numelui, e una miica.

Am cumparat cu putina vreme dupa ce am aflat, un Baby Doppler Sound, si ne-am hotarat intr-o duminica sa ne ascultam inimile cum bat. Unele erau mai puternice si mai sigure, a lui Codrin era ca o toba, perfecta, egala, puternica. A mea era oarecum obosita, molesita. Nectarie si-a ascultat-o si pe a lui, fiecare era amuzat sa auda tic tacul secret care ii tinea puternici.

Am profitat de invalmaseala creata si am pus dopplerul pe burta, mai jos, unde credeam ca e. Imediat s-a auzit o inimioara batand si i-am intrebat pe copii ce-o fi asta.. 

Olguta era invelita cu o patura rosie si imi zice putin zapacita:

• "Inima ta? "
• In chiloti? Ii raspund eu.

Cornelia fu pe faza si raspunse ca la scoala

-E un baby!

• What? What? Olguta incepu sa-si falfaie mainile invelite in patura rosie, arata ca o pasare care nu putea sa-si ia zborul, prea grea, prea naucita de vestea primita. 

-It's a baby! I knew it! Zise Codrin din bucatarie, de dupa countertop. Am vazut-o pe mami ca lua prenatale!

Nectarie prinse ideea din zbor si incepu sa strige entuziasmat

-We are going to have a baby!

Cornelia sarea pe minge, bucuroasa ca a ghicit, Olguta inca nu digera vestea si tot striga furioasa, "a baby?", pana am recunoscut si noi si asa se asternu tacerea. Toti erau excited, bulversati, incepusera sa isi puna intrebari, o daa!, si ramasesera putin in expectativa.

Acum am golit casa, si arata atat de bine, curata si parca mai frumoasa. E delicata si pare mai vesela fara atatea dulapuri si haine si carti.

Noaptea ma scol pe la doua trei si nu mai pot dormi. Mi e frica de mama :)), nu stiu cum sa ii dau vestea. Ma deprima cand stiu ce va gandi. Ma simt foarte vulnerabila si ne- protejata, iar asta e numai vina mea, stiu. Brusc, lumea mi se pare urata, plictisitoare, aceleasi piese de teatru peste tot, aceleasi personaje boring, aceleasi idei redundante, imi pare ca am 100 de ani si am mai trecut odata prin astea, am obosit sa le vad. Seara ma culc obosita, dimineata ma scol si mai obosita. Vom pleca in curand, atat am asteptat si acum... acum mi-e frica.

Ravase dragi

De abia ajunsi aici si primim scrisorele pline de dragoste din lumea cealalta. 

Megan, fosta profa de arte a lui Olguta, ne trimite iubire la plic :)

Boys

Last day

Caracter

Asta e pentru Maria, sa vada ca probleme sunt pe la toate casele :)

Verisori

 

Codrin si Cezar

Parintii mei, cu Daniela, sora-mea, de vreo 3 ani. Mama avea 22.

Have a trumpalicious year! :P

Cum am terminat anul vechi si am inceput apoi, anul nou. 

Ca o regula, de 1 Ianuarie mergem la plaja, doar in ultimii doi ani :)